I assume that one of the hardest life skills to master for anyone is to not have expectations from others, especially when you’re someone who naturally makes a lot of effort to make things happen for someone you love. The motivational speakers and spiritual gurus on Youtube make it sound rather easy and glorious to be someone detached from outcomes – especially outcomes from people – and thus have a powerful mindset. It sounds great to hear, it must also be great to be someone who doesn’t bother what they get in return of the good things they do for others. If only it was that easy to implement what they preach.
It couldn’t suck worse than your loved ones letting you down in life, and consistently so. You know those movies with rebellious teenagers and young adults who glorify living away from their families and not wanting to end up like them? They make a lot of sense when life slaps it on your face that you’re really on your own at the end. No matter how connected and fulfilled you feel with your loved ones – both friends and family – there will always come a time when they don’t meet your expectations and let you deal with your disappointment on your own.
I don’t mean to sound entitled – hopefully I have a little more sense than to live believing that everyone around me owes it to me to live up to my expectations all the time. Quite obviously, even I am not a walking manifestation of everyone’s projected image of me. I am my own self and I am obligated to understand fully well that so is everyone else. But what do you make of the disappointment that engulfs despite that awareness? It isn’t an ideal state of affairs when your efforts are barely returned and you have to be your own anchor a lot of times despite being a part of a strong community. The question ‘Am I the problem?’ bugs you constantly and you look for answers less and for distraction more. May the distractions be wonderful enough to sufficiently spackle the frequently occurring voids.
I largely agree with your write-up. I would go a step further and say, void is THE reality. Life is nothing but a chaotic sequence of distractions to spackle the haunting void. I know I sound like a Vairagi here but, I am not. Because, I am way too swamped in these escape-mechanism distractions!
On the same boat with you.