Its been a while here because I went through a health crisis that introduced me to rock bottom in terms of physical wellness. Everyone realizes that health is indeed wealth when we go through times like that. Everything else that we deem important in life comes to a drastic standstill and the only goal becomes getting better; enough to at least stand up and get things done on our own.
It was probably for the first time in my life that my mind pretty much switched off as well. I assumed that my spiritual anchor is quite strong and it’ll be my constant companion no matter what comes my way; but apparently not. I haven’t had the self discipline to strengthen it to the point where it could lead me through a physical worst. For a span of four days where it was the worst state, I hadn’t even prayed, nor attempted to embolden myself with words of affirmation. It was chaos engulfed in mental silence and physical torment; and I went quite far away from my spiritual stronghold.
I wonder if it happens to the best of the spiritual Gurus and Sadhakas. Do they ever feel distanced from their core of strength when an illness/bad experience happens? Is it possible for someone to be so grounded in their spiritual values that nothing can ever lure them away? Has anyone been fortunate to have seen God/source of spiritual energy so closely that no limitations of the physical world can dull its presence within oneself?
Perhaps there is someone out there. But for me, this experience has reiterated that a sound mind lives in a sound body, and my priority must include a healthy lifestyle that tends to my body as well. I have long since struggled with a small appetite which results in unreliable immunity. Paired with some reckless food habits, it made for a perfect recipe for my body to teach me a good, lasting lesson this time.
I am beyond thankful that the condition wasn’t anything too concerning, I had shoulders to lay upon and now I’m capable of taking a lesson from the experience. There’s a new mountain to climb now and I hope I have trained myself well enough to let go of my old habits and build better ones. I also hope that the spiritual anchor that I was so proud of can be further strengthened hereon. More goals.
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