Journal entry – Futility

Does ambition ever feel pointless? Why do we hustle like the progression of the world depends on our performance sometimes? After all, the bigger picture is that we all perish some day and the world moves on without us, no matter how important we assume our contribution to it or to its residents is after all.

Don’t get me wrong; I’m one of those ambitious people you’ll meet. I wake up every day to a list of things to complete and more often than not go to sleep with a complete checklist. And on days the checklist isn’t fully ticked, I bash myself and my inefficiency to sleep. The ideas of making a difference in life, making the most of life and accomplishing something worthwhile drive me just as much they have driven all the ambitious minds to ever have been.

And then there are days when it all feels so pointless that you want to go be a hippie. It has been said over and again that life isn’t fair battle; but at times the fact is rubbed so hard on your face that all the hustle feels worth nothing. The incompetent ones find unconventional and unfair ways to do well for themselves, anyone hardly has the time to admire worthwhile talent in the fast paced world and what momentarily appeals to the senses are what draw people in.

There’s no density of population at the depths of the world. If you hustle the right way, even all your life, it would be a stroke of luck to manage to find the right limelight. After all, the limelight is hogged beyond capacity by the so defined ‘stars’ of the modern day world. When this realization dawns, everything feels pointless and unworthy of our effort. And again, the good old struggle of pulling oneself out of the pits of one’s own over-thinking mind is upon me.

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