To the ones that thrive in chaos

I see you.

I see the boredom that eventually comes with simply being happy

The constant insecurities that pester us but put us to sleep

The needless troubles we seek despite better knowledge

The extent of self sabotage that could put devil himself to shame.

I see it all, and I know we cannot let go.

The instability we foster in the name of adventure

The tears we shed in the name of expression

The love we give to the ones that wouldn’t deserve us in a thousand years

And the hearts we break in the name of self protection

I see it all, and I know we cannot stop.

Incessant crying puts us to sleep better than happy memories
Toxicity keeps us going farther than unconditional love

We’d rather bite off our lips in agony than have it kissed generously

And we’d turn our backs at things that could adore us liberally.

I see it all, and I know we cannot turn it around.

The awareness of self sabotage does nothing to rid us of it,

I see it obsessively, but the patterns stand rooted and tall.