Journal entry – the art of burying the hatchet

A former friend that had been distanced after ugly fallout more than four years ago ended up inviting me to her wedding yesterday. And I went, bearing a gift and honestly wishing her nothing other than wellness and happiness. In one phone call and one moment of wishing congratulations, almost half a decade long feud was forgotten and, I guess forgiven. The next time we meet, I’m sure it’ll be so much more pleasant and full of smiles than it used to be for more than four years until now.

I put myself at her place and contemplated if I would ever make the first move and extend a hand of friendship to people who I’ve fallen out with (there aren’t many, but there are significant ones)  in the past. And to be honest, no.  I believe I have an ego bigger than my internal sense of general goodwill. This realization makes me respect the move made by this former friend so much more. I guess burying hatchets is an art that not everyone can master.

I don’t know how many such relationships there must be around that can be fixed with a simple phone call or an apology. Ugly fall outs don’t exactly get fixed completely, but intensified bitterness that can be felt each time there is an encounter can definitely be avoided with simple honest gestures. I’m not the one to preach because I’ve admitted I’d never make a first move, but this is a valuable realization nevertheless. Should there be smaller and less significant feuds in the future, and should relationships with those people seem worthy of saving, I’ll definitely keep ego aside. This was indeed a good demonstration of a small but significant lesson to begin the year. And yes, I completely understand that this is contextual but it felt good to put goodwill over ego.

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