At 25, a whole new set of dynamics of life begin unfolding and it is a consistent struggle to keep up with the world – at least for me. For someone mesmerized by and very conscious of human psyche and behaviour, it is a much bigger challenge to be keeping oneself convinced that things have turned out to be the way they were supposed to. We are often left wondering if our thoughts and actions over a particular circumstance could have been something else, and if we could have/should have controlled the way things turned out to be. And such a turbulent establishment in the mind is more a liability than asset (it can be an asset when it comes to the professional zone); it keeps us stopping and thinking, with a blind stare on the face, 24 times a day.
The worst of such futile reflective moments, in my experience, constitute fussing over the impacts of insignificant occurrences in life. An over thinking mind projects small events or experiences into something much larger and digs around, consuming time and strength despite there being a consciousness that the matter in mind is insignificant. The biggest question I have posed myself over time is why after all it is impossible for a mind that is aware about the insignificance of a subject to acknowledge it and discard it. Why is it so that we spend hours and days harbouring the thoughts that we want to get rid of? More importantly, why isn’t the knowledge of its insignificance sufficient for the mind to let it go?
It is dimensions of torture to have an insignificant thought, have it bother us, know that the thought is insignificant, wanting to not let it bother us and yet be incapable of letting it go, and blaming ourselves for not being able to let it go. It causes a significant number of dips on the graph of mental health every day, without anyone noticing.
Over thinkers is not a rare breed but a definitely rarely understood one. We constantly hammer ourselves for being incapable of letting go of things inside our mind. While most of us are excellent actors who’ll never let the world have a hint, the world within our heads is a storm no one wants to get into. The only solution to this that I have imposed on myself is to take every day at a time and let the thoughts consume their way to oblivion – only with time. It isn’t the best solution, but it works alright.