I’m sure everyone comes across a phase of getting over an experience that went completely against the mental norms of wellness. From break ups to workplace embarrassments, plenty of experiences push the mental state to a place where moving on becomes an absolute necessity for sanity. And even with something so commonplace, we often struggle with moving on so much that we dread experiences that can trigger a requirement for it.
In situations that cannot be controlled, moving on from an unpleasant experience is the only choice, but definitely not an easy on. The internet is filled with suggestions and rules that can be implemented to supposedly help us move on faster from bitter experiences. Indulging in a new hobby, listening to music, working out and journaling are all recommendations that play a role in diverting our attention towards something else that is not the root of our misery. Should we be capable enough of diverting our mind long enough that way, the hope is that one fine day we’ll wake up with a clean slate where no diversion tactics are necessary. The brain is naturally conditioned to forget bad experiences; what these activities do is catalyze the natural process.
Other than professional therapy, this is the best option common people have got when it comes to moving on. The truth, however, is that it is always easier said than done. Developing a new hobby to divert attention is great, but the minute we take the break, the mind goes back to misery and there is no helping it. No matter how hard we try and how many people advise us with the best possible measures, the phase of moving on is one of the hardest challenges in life.
As someone who has been through this enough, I’ve experienced that there’s only one true thing that works with moving on – in combination with the techniques prescribed on the internet. Sure, we can do all we can to divert our mind from the root cause but each time the mind comes back to it, the only thing that can keep us going is the painstakingly forced belief that we will move on. Unless we are motivated enough to overcome the phase, there is no hope. Bring the intelligence to work over emotions, and tell yourself each time that you’re progressing and there’s no going back. Taking one day at a time is the only armour we have against the agony, and that’s the only true thing that works until our brain succeeds in forgetting.
Deliberation. Employing intelligence over emotion. Taking one day at a time and putting together all those big and small recommendations that Google collects for us when we ask it how we can move on. For me, these steps constitute the art of moving on. And has worked successfully. Without motivated and deliberate efforts, no tricks in the world can be helpful , ever.
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