The delusions of a love story

Oftentimes when we fall in love with someone, there is a factor within our mind that intensifies the entire process. That factor, what I like to call the delusions of a love story ends up causing more harm than a relationship can when things go downhill, or there are no responses from the other end to our advances.

When we tend to like someone in a romantic sense, more often than not we place them on a mental pedestal from where the mind begins to envision various ideal scenarios. With time, we go on adding features to the vision, most of them positive, and create a mental picture of the person that is almost perfect or beautiful. This process takes place through consistent observation of the person in real life or through social media, extended perceptions we have about their everyday behaviour and so on. What we fail to notice is that we are in fact in love with this mental picture of the person more than the real person. And honestly, the mental picture is only created through virtual stimuli that the other person is not even aware of that we have been analysing.

And we all have seen or experienced plenty of instances when this castle built in thin air collapses when there is real contact. We do not comprehend why the person does not respond a particular way, disappoints expectations or even breaks our heart. The collapse of the mental picture when encountered by reality ends up leaving a lot of people devastated and feeling unworthy of love.

When we fall in love, or even tend to like someone, reading between the lines and perceiving the intangible can be a very risky process. Is there a stimuli initiated by the other person that validates our sense of entitlement to their responses? Is yes, great. If no, we’re only making a fool of ourselves and heading towards a difficult phase of moving on. The delusions in the perceptions of a person in love are one of the biggest threats to mental health as I know it.

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